Andrew's Story "Our child was becoming a monster. You don't know what to do."

Joseph is the man who will rescue your child from a burning building. He is a firefighter: strong, capable and trained to handle crises from raging infernos to medical emergencies. So when Joseph was forced to call 911 for police assistance with his own son, the role reversal was especially shocking. The helper needed help - desperately.

Andrew is Joseph and Anne's only son; he has four sisters. And until he reached 6th grade, theirs was a happy family. Andrew was an A student, friendly and outgoing. "We were connected and busy," says Joseph, "through church, coaching and social events."

The change wasn't instantaneous, but it was dramatic.

When Andrew began acting up at age 12, Joseph and Anne thought it might be a normal phase. "Then," says Joseph, "you realize the problem is not going away." His parents provided every kind of help. But to their lasting frustration, it wasn't enough. Andrew's first psychiatrist misdiagnosed his disorder as ADD, and the prescribed medication only worsened his condition. Cruel teasing drove Andrew into deeper depression, and his parents transferred him to another school seeking a fresh start.

It didn't work. Andrew grew increasingly volatile, verbally and physically abusing his family. "We lost our son," says Joseph sadly. "He became a monster." Since it was unsafe to leave him alone and out of the question to take him anywhere, the family stayed in. Joseph sighs, "We did not go to a restaurant, to a neighbor's home, to church. Our life in the community turned 180 degrees. We lost all our friends."

The crisis came just before 8th grade graduation, when Andrew grabbed a pair of pruning shears and threatened to kill his father. Joseph called 911 and watched the police restrain his son. Andrew was hospitalized, and with medical care his parents saw a glimmer of hope. New medication improved Andrew's ability to communicate. Still, it took an entire year to arrange all the services he needed.

Anne recalls the first Wraparound meeting. "He went ballistic… in a way we were glad, because our team saw how badly he was acting out." During the summer after 9th grade, Andrew spent time in Wraparound's residential care unit, and he later required several interventions by the program's Mobile Crisis Unit.

But in 10th grade, life improved.

With Wraparound's support, Andrew started behavioral health school. Weekly family meetings gave everyone a chance to talk. "Finally our other kids had a voice, and Andrew had to listen to them," says Joseph. When Andrew attended events, mentors visited his sisters. "We had some sane time with our girls," sighs Anne. "At last we had people here helping us."

At 18, Andrew is completing school, has a part-time job, and is making friends. He plans to attend college. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is healing. Healthy in their own right, Andrew's sisters are receiving therapy for the effects of his illness on them. And his mother and father have learned - in the hardest way possible - how even the most capable parents can crumble under the weight of their child's mental illness.

"It's a terrible disease," sighs the firefighter. "You make it up as you go. You have no idea if you are doing right or wrong. You keep asking for help. Thank God it came when it did, because I could never go back there."

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Confidentiality of EMQ children and families has been preserved
through the use of models. Some stories may be composites of multiple cases.